Can you grow out of straight edge?
Because that’s what I feel has happened. I mean, being edge used to be a passion almost. It was like a badge of honor, something I was proud of. Now, it feels so played and misunderstood. I don’t like the idea that people judge me because I choose not to drink and take drugs. I don’t want people making up their mind about me, based on the fact that I’m sXe. That’s stupid. I hate it.
I feel almost, that I’ve outgrown straight edge. Right now, I don’t feel I even need the label. No matter what I call my lifestyle, I will always be drug-free for my own reasons. With or without edge, I am still Ashley. Still cooler than half the fucking lameass girls in highschool.
I’m sick of people asking if I do this or that and then I have to launch into the way I feel about the whole subject. For once I’d rather just answer “no”. It isn’t people’s job to understand me. When I tell people about edge, they think they have me figured out. Like I’m that simple to read, just because I make smarter choices than they ever did when they were my age.
I hate the little arguments I get into with other edge kids. Some kids are so hardcore into their lifestyle, they won’t take tylenol. Look asshole, if I have a splitting headache, I am TAKING tylenol. Shit, even the Amish take tylenol. My ex boyfriend was edge, now he’s off probation and drinking and doing all the stupid shit his friends do. We once got into a fight over me taking sleeping pills. According to him, I wasn’t “edge” because of that. What the fuck? I have some type of sleeping disorder. I go to bed at 6 every morning… I exhaust myself yet I’m not tired. Then there’s the food issue… I’m vegetarian, but if some vegan straight edge kid starts shit because I like milk in my fruity pebbles every morning… I’m kicking ass.
I don’t like the idea that others feel the need to analyze me or even “keep me in line” because of sXe. I feel like hey, maybe I shouldn’t use the whole label all together. I don’t have to be straight edge to be healthy and not do things that are bad for my body. I’m just so sick of having to justify what I do or don’t do. It is my choice, it is my decision to make. My body, my mind, my life… maybe this sounds like a TRUTH commercial, heh heh. But I’m serious. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think anymore…
August 3rd, 2004 at 12:24 pm
Wow. Well I am sXe. And yeah, I can relate to the whole ‘once you tell someone you’re edge they think they have you figured out’. But what the hell does that matter? They may think that they have me figured out, but I know they don’t. Personally I think it just helps them to feel better about how lame their lifestyle is. But I don’t know…I make assumptions about people that party, I really do. I can’t help it. I just don’t agree with any of it. I guess you don’t need the label, but I am proud of being Edge. I really am. There just arn’t many TRUE or even many edge kids these days. Ha, i’m such a loser. I feel elite being edge. I really do. I feel better then all the kids that feel the need to party to escape life and their issues. I like telling people why i’m edge. I know they don’t care, but maybe they will listen. Plus I listen to peoples reasons on why they do the stupid stuff. I think it’s fun talking to people about. The only other edge kid I know is my brother and he’s 23. haha.
Some kids are so hardcore into their lifestyle, they won’t take tylenol. Look asshole, if I have a splitting headache, I am TAKING tylenol. That’s me Ashley. hahahah! I’m one of those kids. Hell I wont even take any meds if i’m sick, like dying sick. But I have my reasons. Headaches are minor and temporary. I may have a really bad one, but it will go away. They go away fast with really loud music. So that’s why I don’t get the point in taking drugs for them. Oh man, I don’t agree with taking sleeping pills either. I have a sleep problem as well, but I just don’t care because eventually there is nothing left to do but sleep. I guess maybe that’s stupid, but that’s just me. To me though the only thing that would stop and classify you as no longer edge is taking something that really is a drug, like effing Stackers. This girl I hang with used to claim that she was Edge…maybe she still does..I don’t know, but she took Stackers. You know what those are? They’re like effing speed. That’s a DRUG. A HARDXCORE you’re no longer EDGE drug as far as i’m concerned. You’re right you don’t need the label, but the label really isn’t that horrible of a thing. I swear. ahaha. We both sound like effing Truth commercials. haha. Woah, I wrote to much. Sorry.
- Jess
August 3rd, 2004 at 12:39 pm
Haha. Yeah I guess keeping the label isn’t that bad. But it seems everyone is edge these days. I must know 50 sXe kids. Seriously… everyone claims they are straight edge. As far as the whole don’t-take-medicine trip… well, I am straight edge because it is healthy and keeps me in control of myself. Taking tylenol does not hurt me. It does not put me in a drunken and or high state.It doesn’t rob my ability to make decisions. If people think they are more edge simply because they refrain from taking pain killers, well more power to them. But that lifestyle isn’t for everyone. I have been in and out of physical therapy and chiropractic treatments for years with my siatica and back problems. I don’t believe in ignoring pain that makes me miserable. I hear the throbbing of my back in my ears, it’s something I can’t just ignore, sadly.
Stacker!!! That stuff is so bad for you! Shit, it’s like coke or speed or something, haha… I mean, it goes right along side steroids. Seriously. Bad news.
There are different degrees of straight edge, like there are different levels of vegenism, different levels of christianity, different levels of sobriety. I think I just pay attention to staying healthy and not doing harm to my body than following “guidelines”. Not that I think I break any guidelines. I don’t think Ian meant sxe to be as extreme as it has become, but I suppose everything must change. Our areas must be really different! We have loads of sxe kids! You’re lucky to be in an area where you’re considered “different”. Little scenester edge kids are all over, lol.
Thanks for your comment. I can tell I’m going to love being friends with you already <3
- Ashley
August 3rd, 2004 at 3:13 pm
Holy god! I had this huge comment typed out and then the next thing I know, the screen is blank. God…I hate that. So i’m just going to some this up…I said..That I see nothing wrong with taking pills if it’s needed, especially if it’s not getting you high or anything. I then…said something about how there are a few sXe kids here, but they are the ELITE ‘only im edge, if you say you’re edge, you’re a poseur!’ kinds of kids, so I don’t talk to them. A lot of edge kids are bitches. ahah. And I said some more stuff, but I forgot! DARN! haha. Thanks for the comment on my site! I’m going to love being friends with you as well. You’re pretty awesome. <3
- Jess
August 3rd, 2004 at 3:44 pm
Haha, sometimes that happens to me on livejournal posts!!! I hate that!!!
Ugh, so now I usually highlight and copy in the middle of typing. Haha, I get so paranoid it will go blank or fuck up.
xoxo
- Ashley