I have been sick for the past week (thanks to the boyfriend). I’m alive, although barely, so I forced myself to update. Justin just got his new bicycle, and he’s been riding it all over the place, using every excuse to get out of the house. I’m happy for him, although slightly jealous. Not of the bike, but of the hundreds of dollars he could have spent on me. Juuuust kidding

So I’m still locked up with this flu, watching old episodes of Top Model, and quoting Smiths lyrics in response to questions. Right before I got sick, I told myself I’d go to the mall to return a couple things and buy some summer clothes, but now I find myself surfing ebay for cheap DVD-Rs. None of the meds I’ve taken have helped, although that could be because they expired two years ago.

Anyway, if anyone’s into breaking the law, I have over 60 albums uploaded to rapidshare, in addition to the other ones that have been on this site since forever. Have fun, pirates.

Anatomy of a Ghost - Streetlights, Empty Wells

I’m pretty much all better, except for some residual congestion. Justin has been coughing so hard and so often, that he has to sleep on the couch because he keeps me awake at night. He was taking codeine for a week, but it hasn’t helped him shake the cough. I think it’s acute Bronchitis, but he doesn’t have health care and can’t go to the doctor. The codeine was given to him by his grandfather. I feel really sorry for him.

Since I was practically catatonic with the flu for a while, I got to update with more magazine scans and precut PNGs. I just thought I’d plug those, more for SEO reasons than to actually inform you guys, lol.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day here in the USA, and I just sent out my mom’s card today, so it will be late. I’m kind of pissed off about that, because I bought the card a month ago, and I hate being late with them. Anyway, everyone be good to your mommies, and if you live at home: clean your fucking room! Damn kids.

I got bored and was browsing allrecipes.com, so on a whim, I made peanut butter fudge. As delicious as those words sound, I still cringe writing them. Immaturity. Anyway, it’s been cooling for about 2 hours, but the consistency still isn’t right. Fudge is so finicky – something to do with temperature and how the sugar melts, crystallizes, etc? This was my first try, so I will attempt it again if it turns out that I failed. Right now it’s like a caramel… I’m hoping it will thicken overnight. Otherwise, it will just be delicious sludge.

I’ve been using my time to redesign my fanlistings. I’m adding more buttons and visitor content like screencaps. Another thing on my internet to-do list is cleaning out dead links from my affiliates and joined fls. I know that will be the most time consuming part of my collective-revamp, since 75% of fanlisting owners send no emails when they move, close, etc.

Chris is coming over tonight after work and he’ll be here in a few minutes, so I better go. I can already hear Justin going through his vinyl, coming up with a playlist. One hundred bucks says the first record played will be Red Medicine. He’s on this Fugazi kick…

Encyclopedia of American Traitors - Accept and Settle

Justin attended his great-grandmother’s funeral today. He left last night however, so he could drive there together with his family. It’s just me and Mr. Bojangles in this freezing apartment now. It was so quiet last night, I had to turn on the TV. I kept one of those XM stations on all night. Today I have to go to the animal hospital to pick up more of Bo’s prescription food. Some might recall that very scary bladder problem he had, and almost died from. We still have to feed him special ($$) food. I guess it’s a small price to pay for a loving, adorable kitty!

Over the past week, I ordered a lot of records from Ebay, Amazon and Robotic Empire. It’s so exciting getting music in the mail – or anything for that matter (minus anthrax). I wonder what we’ll listen to first. I have a feeling Justin will decide on his own, because he’s completely obsessive and weird with new music.

Justin turns 23 in under 5 days. There are some plans made, but I’m not sure if I want to partake in all of them yet. I’m so antisocial anymore. Justin is always excited around his birthdays, and his mom always makes a big fuss – reminding him that his “birthday is coming”, sometime in February, then for the next 2-3 months, he won’t shut up about it. Growing up, I got $20 for my birthday, and a cake if I was lucky. That’s how a lot of group homes and foster homes are. The last birthday party I had was when I was 4. I know I sound sardonic and bitchy right now, but a birthday is just one more year gone forever. After I turned 16 (5 years ago…) I started feeling old on my birthdays, and I don’t see that changing any time in the future.

Yesterday was Justin’s birthday, and we went out to eat with his family, which was nice. We stopped at the mall and I had to go return these two bras from Victoria’s Secret. They were total douche bags about the “return policy” and made me feel like shit for wanting to exchange them. Anyway, we stood there arguing for a couple minutes before Justin flipped out and snatched the bras from the manager guy and started screaming something about how they are assholes and can’t do their job. It was a sight. Anyway, I might try to exchange them at another mall because they were like $48 a piece and they’re defective. I realize they changed their return policy, but when I bought the items, the policy had not changed yet, so I feel entitled to use the old policy… not the new, retarded one.

Later that night we went to the movies (just him and I) and saw the new Indiana Jones movie. It was a lot of fun to watch. We got there a few minutes late because we didn’t catch the train on time, but I don’t think we missed out on anything – it all still made sense.

I’ve been doing more research into my genealogy, which has always interested me. I found leads as to which of my ancestors died in the holocaust. My Jewish roots (ie. German, Austrian, Luxembourgian) are on my mother’s side, and the family name is rather rare and turns up practically nothing in google, but when I run it through the Database of Shoah Victims, which only lists Jewish victims, I get so many results. I didn’t expect to see so many deaths under that name; it is frightening. I can only wonder how many other distant relatives were simply lost to the dust, with no traces of them left behind, and no surviving family members to write of them after the fact. It is all so very sad, I can’t think about it.