My mom was a total biyatch this morning. She kept trying to get me to clean and organize, lol. Anyway, I get confused with her. Sometimes she acts like she hates me and can’t wait until I’m eighteen and can get the fuck out. Sometimes she gets sentimental and starts remembering back to my elementary days and cries and says she loves me. I really wish I had the childhood “everyone else” seems to have had. I don’t like feeling like an intruder in my own family, I don’t like thinking things should have been better, or could have been better if I had the right parents. I hate regretting being born, or reminding myself that if life had went my mother’s way, I wouldn’t be here. I love being able to “speak from experience”, I like saying “I’ve been there”, but thinking about the experiences that give me the “right” to be able to say that just make me depressed. Well whatever, I love my crazyass mom.

I think she’s nicer since she dyed her hair black, haha. She’s always been blonde and I think it went to her head, lol. And shut the fuck up, I know my mom is way old, Justin. She was 31 when she had me, lmao. Shhhh. I need figure out what to get her for her 49th birthday on October 3rd, I am so clueless.

Haha did I mention how she wants to have her wedding on the 31st, (HALLOWEEN!!!) and have a masquerade ball with all this crappy ugh, nevermind. Well whatever. Time to go, I’m on the phone with my hottness, so I wanna goooooo. I love you whores<3

My mother has some lame idea about moving to Florida this winter/early spring, when she knows I plan on attending college in Philadelphia… (with Justinnnnn, hehe). So, yeah. If we move, I’ll go with her and stay a few weeks, meet my relatives… maybe surf? Haha, my cousins are so much prettier than me ::sigh:: And my mom’s side of the family is all blonde/blue eyes all-american blahblahblah. I am such a misfit, but whatever. Then I can come back north and be happy again. But this is all on the rocks anyway… my mom wants to move to a different place every few months. haha.

Besides that, there isn’t much else to type about…
I feel so confident about my future which, not long ago, was totally up in the air. Yerp, so that’s all <333

Added a radio-blog thingy. Took… forever, haha. Uses flash soooo, no one can steal my music/bandwidth yo’.

Ummm, yeah, I’m giving it a test run this month. Each mp3 is about 3mb and I figure maybe…. 5 mp3s will be played a day if I’m lucky, since I am a complete loser and no one loves me or my site, haha. My bandwidth should be fine… if not, I’ll just get the bigger hosting plan. Yeahhhhhhh. Enjoy <3

25th in A-town: Fear Before, October Skyline, some other bands that don’t matter…
26th in Philly:Fear Before, Throwdown, Norma Jean, It Dies Today…

I’m so pissed. I wanna goooooooooooooo. Oh man, PA rocks, but I need a fucking car.