Where did all my lovelies go? No one hearts me anymore?
I’m bummed. Comment fuckers, or I will be ever so depressed.

Okay… if you’re seeing this page and it’s all lonely and blah with no pictures… you need to go to http://x.pink-pistol.net instead. It’s an iframe-layout. And the new main weblog page. Sooooooo…… Yeah, what do you think? Is it all that bad? It’s umm, Evergreen Terrace. And anyway, my layouts will be a fucking breeeeeeze to do now with the this div/iframe layout. Go me. It looks just as kickass in Mozilla too. Skilllzzzz yo’. MAD SKILLZ. Hahaha, I’m lame.

Justin, you’re fucking awesome. I can’t wait until we can chill together and watch zombie movies and cuddle and be cute ♥ Haha, who would’ve thought?

Blood Has Been Shed -

To John:

You suck, you’re a fucking loser, and you will never be anything more than what you are now. You hurt people, you ruin lives, destroy hearts, poison minds, and eat away at others’ confidence. I hate you. I hate the games you played on me. I hate your lies. I hate believing your lies. I hate that I loved you. One day, you will come back. You’ll find out that those girls are all the same. You’ll realize that you lost something good, and what you left looking for, never really existed. I was the closest to your every dream. And when you realize that, I’ll already be gone. It will be too late for your games to work, for your false tears to mend what you have shattered. Too late to use every trick you know, because I am already wiser, and you know I won’t believe you again. No, never again.

So have fun playing “house”, John. Have fun pretending you’ve grown up and outgrown what I had to offer. Have fun going through the motions of being a “responsible adult” when all you are is a frail teenager, who knows shit about life or getting through it. You will fuck up again and again, until eventually your whole life is a mess and all the goals you had crash and burn and you are left with nothing. And Ashley won’t pick you up again. I won’t get you off drugs, I won’t encourage you through the rough times, I won’t help you off probation, I won’t. Not anymore. Those girls are “there for you”, you claim. Sure, they are there for you now, why wouldn’t they be? Money, sex, fun, cars… will they be there in the end? Will they still be by your side when the cash stops flowing and the years on your youth run out? Of course not. I would have. But silly John, you’re too “busy” and “mature” for a girl like me. High School sweethearts just don’t last. Nope, they never work out. Or so you say.

At the end of all of this, when you take a glance back, you will see me. You will feel regret for letting me go. Feel regret for tossing in the trash something you were so lucky to find. You seem to think I am nothing now, after you’ve taken everything I couldn’t get back. Used me up and thrown me away. It isn’t like that. I am still a better person than you will ever be. I am capable of doing better things than you ever could, regardless of how much you have stolen from me. Someone else will love me more, someone else will appreciate what I have to give. You obviously couldn’t. Good luck finding someone who will love you like I loved you. I know you won’t… not for the right reasons. You are trash.

I wish I had accepted that ring. I would have loved throwing it in your face right now.

Throwdown -

Sorry for the uhhh… lack of updates. I can’t say I’ve been busy really, just not doing anything worth you guys reading about. I must say I have the best online friends in the world however. I’ve realized this recently. Amanda, Nykari, Brady, Justin… I’m not sure what I would do without the internet. I am a miserable, lonely fuck who is too stubborn to settle and make friends with complete losers who will only stab me in the back later on in life. Okay before everyone thinks I am some pathetic loser, I will shut the hell up, haha.

Moving day is soon, and I know I’ll be whining about something… ugh, I hate having to pack up my shit, it’s like fostercare all over again. Plus, I just got back from Dad’s house a few months ago… WTF. I guess Lisa & Joe are having the nicer room downstairs and Me and Metalhead will have rooms across from eachother upstairs. He’s such a nice kid, but I could never ever be attracted to him, he just isn’t my type. He isn’t nerdy enough. Oh well. He’ll probably annoy the hell out of me, but it really won’t be so bad… we can chill and watch movies, just in my room though because his bed is disgusting. What guys’ bed ISN’T disgusting? I fell asleep on it one time while he was downstairs with all the other fruits playing some video game, this was at his house. I felt so lame, and uncomfortable when he came to wake me up. Later on Brett was like “Dude you SLEPT on that bed! WTF, are you crazy?” and I was just laughing. Eww I try not to think about what goes on in boy’s beds… gross. Haha, oh well.

Plans for today? None. So yeah, I’ll just go on Yahoo chat for a while and later tonight I’ll be on AIM, my usual schedule. Haha. Oh my goodness I am lame.

xoxo